Caring for Fours
“For a Four to be like anyone is a disgrace! Fours want to be one of a kind—that’s what makes them feel special. Their type is the most complex of the nine because they have the deepest feelings and are the most private, which is why they can be so creative. The innovation of a Four may be expressed through music, art, drama, writing, fashion, cars, technology, or another way” (Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith, p. 112).
These three factors may contribute to someone becoming a Four:
- Family formation role: Victim or Special
- Root sin: Envying others who are more unique, creative, or special
- Defense mechanism: Regurgitating “woe is me” emotions, including through art
The Four personality is expressed and related to largely through emotions like these:
Felt need: Feel special
Heart type: Looking to other people for feeling connected
Core emotion: Shame from feeling like a misfit
Stress emotion: Shame that pressures them to help others
Underlying sadness: Grief that’s hidden in melancholy moods
Emotional alarm: Stirring up emotions to feel alive
How Fours Become Like Jesus
“Yeshua is the Four maestro. Appreciating Jesus’ emotional health guides Fours, and all of us, to release feelings of distress and shame and be strengthened to bring beauty and love into the world” (Healthy Feelings, Thriving Faith, p. 129).
“Those who look to [the Lord] are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame” (Psalm 34:5).
Christlike Virtue to Cultivate
Key Soul Care Practice
Wing Type(s): Three and/or Five
Stress Type: Two
Growth Type: One
* Learn more and dive deeper into your wings, growth, and stress types with our resource, "Your Enneagram Map: Guides for Each Type to grow Emotionally & Spiritually."